My Upper Room

What is Social Competence, and do we need it?

Social competence or social skills are about tolerance, acceptable behaviours and knowing how to act in various situations so that you don't embarrass yourself, or make others feel uncomfortable.  It is not about being a snob, or being elitist, or a way to "look down on others".

Self-Confidence, Emotional Intelligence and Social Adaptability are all fundamentally linked to the way in which you perceive your relationship to your environment and to the people in it.

The development of character and skills for life are vital in building self-confidence, self-esteem and being able to adapt and thrive in an increasingly complicated world.  

Our courses are a foundation that both parents and teachers can build on by example.  The teaching methods are fun, interactive and entertaining.

We believe that Social Competence = Social Confidence and what better gift to give your child, be they toddlers, tweens or teens, than the ability to interact and develop socially.  The principle is the same, whether you are sharing a toy, attending your first party or shopping at the mall with your friends – treat others the way that you would like to be treated - that is the golden rule.

Some important aspects of social skills training programmes include:

• Self-identity, self-confidence: With a high self-confidence you are able to 'rise above' certain onslaughts, strong in the knowledge of who you are and what you are made of.
• First impressions: Although first impressions are often misleading, they last an amazingly long time!
• Values: If you want to know what you believe, then look at what you do.
• Graciousness: Saying "Thank you", overlooking the faults of others, having the courage to admit your mistakes, and the strength to ask for forgiveness. Treating people better than they think they deserve.
• Respect: Others, even those who have a different opinion and way of life to our own, have an equal right to exist as you do. Our children are growing up in a world with fewer and fewer borders. The only borders they will have as adults will be the ones in their minds.
• Gentleness & Courtesy: Learning how to say what needs to be said, or do what needs to be done, in a way that doesn't damage those around you. Creating a "safe" way of behaviour.
• Responding appropriately to authority and rules: Rules and laws make the world a safer and more enjoyable place. Games are more fun and easier to understand and play when everyone follows the rules. Responding in the correct way to people and situations is essential to living a well-balanced and productive life. Jails and prisons are full of people who thought otherwise.
• Living, playing and working together: Learning how to be a gracious winner or loser, being a good friend, taking turns in conversation and 'sharing the spotlight', working in a team to accomplish a goal, how to compromise and how to reach a consensus.
• Compassion, empathy and focusing on others: Being able to see the needs of others, and understanding how they feel. For instance, when meeting someone new and knowing what will make them feel comfortable, or being introduced to somebody who is at a disadvantage, and knowing how to respond without offending them, or embarrassing yourself.

Availability/Travel

Although we are based in Fourways, Johannesburg, travel to your area can be arranged provided enough notice is given.  A minimum of 8 confirmed students per course is needed to make this viable.  Please note that any queries and suggestions are welcome and your interest in our service is very important to us.  Arrangements can be made, plans can be changed.

About the facilitator

Michael Cabral is the co-founder and facilitator of My Upper Room.  Born in Zimbabwe, now living in Johannesburg, South Africa, he comes from a multi-cultural background and speaks three languages. After attending the Drakensberg Boys Choir School, and then finishing High School he traveled through South America for a few months before attending College in the United States.  On his return to South Africa in 1996 he became involved in the service and hospitality industry.

Having three lively sons, and wanting to know how to give them the best tools possible for their future, the obvious need for social confidence, self-esteem, good manners and responsibility has become more apparent.  It is Michael's firm belief that a better society for all can only start with our children having a foundation based in putting the needs of others first. That is the driving force behind this innovative and exciting company.

Contact us for all enquiries regarding costs and payments.

"That all children would have the opportunity to learn the social skills they need to secure their successful futures." - The Tanners Manners® Vision